魔王的新手教學4

魔王的新手教學

作者：不詳

譯者：貓神官田中方樹





31. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is Completely indestructable except for one small and
virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

無論用起來有多好用, 那種除了一個微小, 不可能被接觸到的弱點之外不可能被摧毀的機器, 我是絕對不會建造使用的.
(註:星際大戰中的死星)

32. If I am engaged in a duel to the death with the hero and I am fortunate enough to knock the weapon out of his hand, I will graciously allow him to retrieve it. This is not from a sense of fair play; rather, he will be so startled and confused that I will easily be able to dispatch him.

當我跟英雄生死決鬥時, 如果我幸運的擊飛他手上的武器, 我會很有風度的允許他撿起來, 這並不是因為公平決鬥的榮譽感, 而是他會因此而驚愕與疑惑, 讓我能夠輕鬆
的料理他.

33. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me.
Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

無論反抗份子中某個人士如何的美麗, 世界上總會有另一個人有同等的美貌而且不會想要宰了我. 因此, 在我下令將她送到我的臥室之前會再三考慮.

34. I will never build only one of anything important. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

重要的東西我絕對不會只做一份, 同樣的, 我時時會佩帶至少兩件備妥的武器.

35. If my supreme command center comes under attack, I will immediately flee to safety in my prepared escape pod and direct the defenses from
there. I will not wait until the troops break into my inner sanctum to attempt this.

當最高指揮中心被攻擊時, 我會立刻逃到安全的逃生艙裡面, 在那裡指揮防禦戰鬥,而不是當敵人殺進指揮室才準備逃走.

36. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

我會將我的寵物怪物安置在安全的籠子裡面, 籠子要堅固到讓它們無法逃出, 同時安全到我不會不小心跌倒掉進去.

37. Even though I don`t really care because I plan on living forever, I will hire engineers who are able to build me a fortress sturdy enough that, if I am slain, it won`t tumble to the ground for no good structural reason.

你知道, 雖然我計劃永生不死, 所以我不是很在乎. 不過我還是會僱請一個好的工程師請他好好的建築我的堡壘. 這樣子即使在我死了之後, 堡壘不會莫名其妙的崩塌.

38. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

我會打扮的光鮮亮麗, 充滿活力, 讓我的敵人迷惑不已.

39. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be pre-emptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

所有無能的魔術師, 笨拙的隨從, 沒有天份的吟遊詩人以及膽小的盜賊都將會事先被處死. 因為沒有幽默的調劑放鬆, 我的敵人將因此放棄他們的使命任務.

40. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world- weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

在我王國中所有天真豐滿的酒店女侍, 都將被換成暴躁乖戾, 令人厭煩的女侍. 以確保她們不會對英雄或他的朋友提供意料之外的援助, 或是羅曼蒂克的插曲.


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