魔王的新手教學3

魔王的新手教學

作者：不詳

譯者：貓神官田中方樹





21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he`s caused.

我會親手設計末日武器, 如果我必須僱用一位瘋狂科學家來當助手, 我會確定他瘋的夠徹底而不會有一天突然後悔, 想要彌補所犯下的錯誤.

22. I will never utter the sentence ``But before I kill you, there`s just one thing I want to know.``

我永遠不會說: "在我殺你之前, 我還有一件事想知道."

23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

當我僱用顧問時, 我會常常聽取他們的建議.

24. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a
crucial point in time.

我不會有兒子. 雖然他想篡奪我權力的可笑計劃常常失敗, 但是在關鍵的時刻, 這將會造成我致命的分心.

25. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil,but one look at the hero`s rugged countenance and she`d betray her own
father.

我不會有女兒, 雖然她將會美的如同她的邪惡一般, 但是只要她看一眼英雄的破爛面貌,她就會背叛她的父親.

26. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it`s too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

雖然是很好的壓力紓解方式, 我不會沉迷於自己的狂笑之中. 這個時候往往會沒有注意到事情的突發狀況, 而比較謹慎注意的人將可以輕鬆的處理.

27. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my legions of terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes.
All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

我將聘請頂尖的服裝設計師為我的恐怖軍團設計制服, 而不是選用某些廉價的防冒品,讓他們看起來像是納粹黨突擊隊員, 羅馬的步兵, 或是野蠻的蒙古遊牧民族. 這些傢伙最後都被打敗了, 我希望我的軍團有比較正面的心理建設.

28. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

無論我有多少無限制的能量, 對於任何大於我頭部的防護罩, 我一分能量也不要花.

29. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless --
my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

我會保留一批低科技武器而且常常訓練我的軍團使用它們, 這樣子即使英雄們關掉了我的能量產生器, 或是用某種方法使得能量武器無效, 我的軍團不會被一小批拿著長槍石頭的野蠻人擊敗.

30. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses.
Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line ``No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!``
(After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

我將會理性的評估我的力量以及弱點, 即使這樣會讓魔王這份工作減少一些樂趣,但是至少我永遠不會說: "不, 這不可能! 我是無敵的!" (接下來往往接著立即的死亡.)

回魔王新手教學專區