兩頭牛可以就解釋經濟模型

作者: shiningwing (熱血高校中肯番長 飛小羽) 看板: Gossiping
標題: [問卦] 兩頭牛可以就解釋經濟模型？
時間: Thu Mar 13 04:27:06 2014

SOCIALISM 社會主義
You have two cows. You give one to your neighbour.
你有兩頭牛，把其中一頭送給鄰居。

COMMUNISM 共產主義
You have two cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
你有兩頭牛。國家把兩頭都拿走，只給你一點牛奶。

FASCISM 法西斯主義
You have two cows. The State takes both then sells you some milk.
你有兩頭牛。國家把兩頭都拿走，回頭再把牛奶賣給你。

NAZISM 納粹主義
You have two cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
你有兩頭牛。國家把兩頭都拿走，然後射殺你。

BUREAUCRATISM 官僚主義
You have two cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other,
and then throws the milk away.
你有兩頭牛。國家把兩頭都拿走，殺死一頭，另外一隻送去擠奶，後來又把擠好的
牛奶倒掉。

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM 傳統資本主義
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
你有兩頭牛。你把其中一隻賣了，買來一隻公牛。
你的牛以倍數增加，經濟不斷成長。最後你把牛都賣了，拿著那些錢退休。

SURREALISM 超現實主義
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
你有兩隻長頸鹿。政府規定你要上口琴課。

AMERICAN CORPORATION 美國企業
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
你有兩頭牛。你把一頭賣掉，然後強迫另外一頭生產四倍的牛奶。
之後，你請了顧問來分析為什麼你的牛掛點了。

FRENCH CORPORATION 法國企業
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads,
because you want three cows.
你有兩頭牛。你罷工、發動暴亂、阻塞道路，因為你想要三頭牛。

JAPANESE CORPORATION 日本企業
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth of the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever
cow cartoon image called "Cowkimon" and market it worldwide.
你有兩頭牛。你改造牠們，所以牠們只有十分之一的大小，但是可以生產二十倍的
牛奶。然後你設計一個乳牛造型的卡通人物叫 "Cowkimon" 並行銷全世界。

GERMAN CORPORATION 德國企業
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
你有兩頭牛。你改造牠們，讓牠們可以活 100 年，一個月吃一次東西，
還會自己擠好牛奶。

ITALIAN CORPORATION 義大利企業
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
你有兩隻牛，但是你不知道牠們在哪裡。你決定放棄，乾脆出去吃午餐。

RUSSIAN CORPORATION 俄國企業
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have two cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of Vodka.
你有兩頭牛。你數了一下， 發現你有五頭牛。你再數一次，發現你有 42 頭牛。
你再數一次，結果變成兩頭牛。你放棄數牛了，於是打開另一瓶伏特加。

SWISS CORPORATION 瑞士企業
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
你這邊有 5000 頭牛，但是沒有一頭是你的。你向牛的主人們收保管費。

IRAQI CORPORATION 伊拉克企業
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them you have none.
No one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...
大家都覺得你有很多牛。你告訴他們，你連半隻都沒有。沒人相信你，所以大家把你
轟炸得屁滾尿流然後入侵你的國家。
你還是沒有牛，但至少你現在是民主世界的一部分...

AUSTRALIA CORPORATION 澳洲企業
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
你有兩頭牛。生意似乎很好。為了慶祝，你把店關了，去外面喝兩杯。

NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION 紐西蘭企業
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
你有兩頭牛。左邊的那頭看起來很迷人。
(補充: 紐西蘭的牛比人多 10 倍)

BRITISH CORPORATION 英國企業
You have two cows. Both are mad.
你有兩頭牛。兩頭都瘋了 (mad cow disease = 狂牛症)

INDIAN CORPORATION 印度企業
You have two cows. Your worship them.
你有兩頭牛。你膜拜牠們。

CHINESE CORPORATION 中國企業
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
你有兩頭牛。你派 300 個人擠牛奶。
對外，你宣稱零失業率還有高產量。
你把報導真相的記者逮捕了。


http://ppt.cc/zA5e


請問台灣企業會怎樣？

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◆ From: 114.42.104.244
推 rockmanx52:台灣企業就把美國企業最後那段改成：跟政府抱怨現在的   03/13 04:29
→ rockmanx52:牛都是草莓不耐操，要求政府將牛的待遇降低             03/13 04:29
推 cafopupu:台灣就是人當牛操 ，自己生奶又沒草吃                    03/13 04:30
→ cafopupu:老闆賣掉兩頭牛 自己變成牛                              03/13 04:32
推 hirorei:跟美國一樣，只是顧問改成記者，然後發廢文說草莓牛不耐操  03/13 04:32
→ basketkdash:台灣:把牛綁起來24小時擠奶 沒奶就罵牠草莓扣牠草料    03/13 04:35
推 Jango:你有兩頭牛,每天辛苦的擠奶,但最後發現牛不是你的,連牛奶也   03/13 04:36
推 gn02827186:吱吱:跟我一起舔柯P覽趴                               03/13 04:38
推 XDboy:台灣 你有兩頭牛 你要付錢給政府才可以擠奶                  03/13 04:38
→ XDboy:擠出來奶要用來補助大企業                                  03/13 04:39
→ XDboy:還要用專屬的擠奶器 每用一次 要給遠通20塊                  03/13 04:41
推 CostDown: 跟政府要養牛輔助 嘆沒擠奶人才 要求開放(仲介)擠奶人才  03/13 04:42
推 zeumax:you have two cow , both eat banana everyday              03/13 04:44
推 s9623452:台灣企業:2頭牛300個人擠一整年 難得放假喝牛奶 小確幸    03/13 04:44
推 wahaha99:台灣:你有一匹馬。沒了。悲劇。                          03/13 04:47
推 wind:推 wahaha99:台灣:你有一匹馬。沒了。悲劇。                  03/13 04:56
推 badbadook:懶啪比牛大                                            03/13 04:56
推 stocktonty:台灣:你以為你可以擁有牛 其實你從生下來就是牛         03/13 04:57
推 rsly1631:你有一匹馬XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD            03/13 04:59
推 johnny3:台灣:馬英九還我牛                                       03/13 05:00
推 Sign:台灣：兩隻牛不夠 那你有多養一隻嗎 我小時候也養過牛（後略   03/13 05:03
推 vistas:台灣：你能養兩隻牛 真不簡單                              03/13 05:05
推 senior:台灣企業:你有兩頭牛, 你瞞著股東會把牛賣了,               03/13 05:32
→ senior:         你要求員工買乳牛裝(自費)                        03/13 05:33
→ senior:         你對媒體撻伐小主管把人當牛,違背公司規定         03/13 05:34
→ senior:         你決定讓顧客憑當日發票來店八折優待.             03/13 05:35
推 qazqazqaz13:XDD                                                 03/13 05:38
推 Tenging:台灣企業 炒高房地產 用兩頭牛只夠買一間廁所              03/13 06:11
推 BIGNOSER:================你害這裡變成JOKE版了=================  03/13 06:36
推 mramos6796:有系列文的fu                                         03/13 07:36
推 IndianF4:推 wahaha99:台灣:你有一匹馬。沒了。悲劇。              03/13 07:44
推 wgst88w:台灣：你有兩頭牛，這兩頭牛都是用飄的 Cow~~Cow~~         03/13 07:47
推 WrongHole:xDDDD                                                 03/13 07:50
推 age0fempire3:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                                   03/13 07:53
推 newjackle:台:你有兩頭牛,命令牠們每天要12小時產乳,然後只給一口   03/13 07:59
→ newjackle:草                                                    03/13 07:59
→ newjackle:你把賣牛乳的錢換成跑車豪宅小三，然後告訴牛要共體時艱  03/13 08:00
推 pow1126:台:你有兩頭牛 一頭殺掉 一頭肛他  殺掉的判6個月 肛他的   03/13 08:14
推 wanters:台灣:你有兩頭牛。國家說我們都是中國人。                 03/13 08:18
推 TW185930:蠻有趣的                                               03/13 08:21