2010年8月21日 星期六

魔王的新手教學6

魔王的新手教學

作者:不詳

譯者:貓神官田中方樹





51. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

當我必須騎馬上戰場時, 我絕不會接近我恐怖軍團的最前線, 也不會尋找敵軍中我的對手.

52. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

我既沒有騎士精神也沒有運動精神, 如果我有無敵的超級武器, 我會盡早使用而且常常使用, 而不會把它收藏起來.

53. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

一旦我的權力鞏固, 我會摧毀所有令人厭惡的時光旅行機器.

54. I will offer oracles the choice of working exclusively for me or being executed.

我會提供預言神殿兩個選擇: 只為我工作或是被處死.

55. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

當我抓住一個英雄時, 我會確定我也抓到他的狗, 猴子, 雪貂或是其他任何碰巧在身邊可以解開繩子或是會偷取鑰匙的病態可愛小動物.

56. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

當我抓到一個美麗的反叛分子, 而她宣稱被我的力量與外貌所吸引, 只要讓她參與我的計劃, 她就會背叛她的同伴. 對此, 我會維持健康的懷疑態度.

57. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to
give the other guy a sporting chance.

我只會僱用為錢工作的獎金獵人人. 那些為了樂趣而狩獵的傢伙很可能會做出愚蠢的事, 例如很奇怪的給與對方逃命的機會.

58. I will not rely entirely upon ``totally reliable`` spells that can be neutralized by relatively inconspicuous talisman.

我不會依賴可以被不引人注目的護身符所抵銷的 "萬無一失" 的魔法.

59. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say ``And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

我會確定我很清楚組織裡面每個人的責任. 比方說, 如果我的將軍把事情搞雜了, 我不會拔出我的武器指著他說: "這是失敗的代價." 然後突然轉身隨機殺掉旁邊的部下.

60. If an advisor says to me ``My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?`` I will reply ``This.`` and kill the advisor.

當我的顧問對我說: "王上, 他只不過是一個人, 能成得了甚麼大事." 我會回答: "這個."然後宰了這個顧問.



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